First I want to thank The Lingerie Guy for allowing me to feature him in this RAF Series. As his name suggests, he is passionate about women’s lingerie!
The Lingerie Guy is a man that is challenging the norm, and proving that there’s nothing wrong or harmful about crossing the lines of what society has labeled “gender normative.”
Allowing others to be themselves, and embracing what makes them different is what I aim to do. I believe The Lingerie Guy is a model for this kind of movement, and on that note, I welcome him.
The Lingerie Guy, it’s so great to have this opportunity to speak to you about your life and passion. Do you mind sharing a bit about yourself with my readers?
Firstly, I’m glad you invited me to discuss my account on your blog. It’s a pleasure.
For those who are interested, I’m in my early thirties and based in the UK. At the moment I’d describe myself as male and straight, but I’m certainly not fixed in my sexuality. I am in a long-term relationship with a woman.
When did you discover your love for lingerie?
I’ve tried many times to figure out quite how and why lingerie entered my life, other than as something my eyes would be drawn to as a hormonal teenage boy. I think there’s probably some obscure freudian trigger in my past which caused me to become so attracted to buying and wearing it. As part of becoming sexually active, it was something I explored as a fetish initially, but at the same time I became interested more in the aesthetic aspects, the design and the materials.
Can you describe the first time you put it on – how you felt, what you thought…?
I believe I first wore lingerie perhaps fifteen years ago, so I can no longer recall a specific moment, but I always remember thinking how boring men’s underwear was, and how functional the design. People who identify as female have that everyday lingerie too, of course, but it isn’t frowned upon when they wear something expensive with lace or silk as an everyday garment, and I suppose I wanted to experience that kind of pretty, sexy, feminine, feeling.
I read your interview with Curves and Cocktales, and you had mentioned that only a few close friends know that you are The Lingerie Guy. What is it that’s keeping you from exposing this side of your identity to the world?
Primarily it is down to what people would think of me. I no longer associate within circles of friends where toxic masculinity dominates, as I did in the past, but I still believe that many who know me would be shocked to find out what I did in my spare time. Whilst I doubt anyone would directly attack me for it, I can imagine that it would become a subject of discussion behind my back. Which is partially understandable, I suppose. A male wearing lingerie (despite some statistics regarding it as relatively common) isn’t something which society really ever discusses in a positive way.
I understand, and hope that the more people, such as yourself, speak about it, the more comfortable others can feel in expressing themselves in these ways. It’s a process for sure, but with the current movements around eliminating toxic masculinity and reinforcing gender fluidity, I’m feeling positive about the expansion of acceptance and tolerance.
So, as a submissive woman, I looovvve getting dressed up for Master J. However, I’m a lingerie novice. What advice would you give me for choosing the right garments? Remember, I’m quite busty.
So much of this comes down to personal preference, I think. There are certain colours and materials which I don’t find appealing at all, and others that I go wild for. I’d definitely consult with Master J to see what kind of garment he likes, and try to find something which turns you both on.
Even if you’re dressing up for someone else, it has to be something you feel comfortable and confident in, if you are to both enjoy the experience. Whilst I’ve never purchased lingerie from a specialist lingerie retailer, talking to others in the Instagram lingerie community with bigger busts, there seems to be some real value in consulting with staff in stores, to really help find what you’re after.
What are your preferred retailers?
I’m a huge fan of Playful Promises, but Ann Summers have really upped their game in terms of cheaper lingerie which is really well designed. ASOS also have some great brands in stock these days, again at great prices. Good lingerie doesn’t have to break the bank.
Do you have a favourite piece?
Probably my favorite lingerie is the Ann Summers Aleece set in pink, but the Playful Promises Leila set is also to die for. I’m not a fan of thongs, but I make a special exception for this one.
Playful Promises Leila set
In your interview with Curves and Cocktales, I also read that although your partner knows about your passion for lingerie – and sometimes you even pick some out for each other – it doesn’t play a role in your sexuality. Has this changed since that interview, or would you say you dressing up is still very much a thing you do on your own?
I’d say things are roughly the same. She has no problem with my lingerie collection, or that I dress up when she’s not around. It just doesn’t factor into our own sex life (which is a healthy one) very often. As with any relationship, there are things which I find a turn on which she doesn’t and vice-versa, and there are other passions and fetishes which we share. As long as you’re always open and discuss things, it prevents any friction.
Do you enjoy seeing your partner in lingerie, or is this something you like to keep exclusively for yourself?
I love seeing her in lingerie, and she enjoys wearing it, which I’m very happy about.
What motivated you to create The Lingerie Guy instagram account in the first place?
I suppose primarily it was because – despite my anonymity – I wanted to show the world who I was and that no matter what gender you are, lingerie is for you. I feel confident when I’m wearing it and that’s exactly the way it should be.
You have quite the fan base on instagram. Do you find that the majority of people who come across your page are supportive of your lifestyle and passion?
In the majority of cases, yes. I have had some negative comments and abuse, and some dick pics sent my way too, but as strange as it sounds, my male privilege seems to protect me from much of this, which is a sad state of affairs. Whilst I try not to wade too much into feminism on my account – because as long as women can be successfully heard online, they’re the best ones to advocate for themselves – I’m certainly not afraid to tackle what I see as rampant sexism and abuse by the men on social media and its vitally important that other men do the same. If my account can be part of that, then it should be.
What advice or words of wisdom would you give to someone who has similar interests, but are feeling ashamed or like something may be wrong with them?
People shouldn’t be made to feel like outcasts just because they enjoy something which isn’t within the mainstream of human behaviour. If I can try to normalise men wearing lingerie – without it reverting to the old stereotype of the ‘pervert’ stealing it from washing lines – then I’m happy.
How has your experience with lingerie – both in your personal life, and via the web – impacted or changed your life?
The lingerie community has been so completely supportive. With me being a male entering a primarily female space, I would completely understand if they had been suspicious of me. I’ve talked to such a diverse range of lingerie addicts, and it has been eye opening for me in many ways. I think it has also helped me appreciate the design and hard work that goes into creating these beautiful garments.
I’ve already mentioned this, but I feel so confident when I’m posting on my account and I like to think that I have parlayed some of that into my life outside lingerie, sprinkling some sequins and glitter into the mundanity of everyday life.
As always, I’m ecstatic to be able to share with all of you another human that redefines the labels we have been given, and embraces himself for the unique and sexy human he is! If you are to take anything away from this interview, let it be that who you are is good enough. You’re perfect, and what you define as “being different,” may actually be the key to setting another person free from their own insecurities.
If you want to know more about The Lingerie Guy, contact him directly via instagram @lingerieguy00.
Until next time,
Happy Pride, Happy Health, and as always…