The Definition of Sex

A friend of mine can’t have penetrative sex with her partner, due to pain. This has been going on for over a year. She’s seen multiple medical practitioners, who have left her questions unanswered. I’ve watched her shed tears of frustration, and fall into this haunting belief that she’s broken somehow. I began to provide her resources and homeplay, only recently recognizing that the issue isn’t simply her pain (although it should be acknowledged and addressed properly), but also what this pain represents.

We live in a society that values the penis. Sexual education has revolved around reproduction, which inadvertently puts more emphasis on male pleasure (ergo, male ejaculation), as it is required for conception. As well, men tend to receive a more sex-positive reaction when it comes to masturbation, and therefore women don’t experience the same type of self-exploration as early on (if ever). This results in women knowing less about their desires, arousal and anatomy; not knowing how to ask for specific types of pleasure during partnered interactions. In combination with the narrow definition of sex (penis-centric), people – especially heterosexual, cis gender couples/partnerships – are dumbfounded when their relationships become sexless. Although there are multiple scenarios and circumstances that can cause a decrease in sexual activity within partnership(s) (for example, life changes such as moving into parenthood, interpersonal issues within the relationship, medical issues), too often do I see emotional and physical dissatisfaction; in other words: the orgasm gap.

What is the orgasm gap? An article by Laurie Mintz, PhD on Psychology Today refers to the orgasm gap as “the fact that in heterosexual sexual encounters, men have more orgasms than women.” According to this article, one study shows that 39% of women, compared to a whopping 91% of men, usually or always experience orgasm during partnered sex!

If you aren’t gasping at that quick statistic, read it again!

So, what’s causing this orgasm gap, and how is it related to the pain my friend is experiencing? Well, for one, as I mentioned, sex ed tends to be penis-centric. The issue with this is women aren’t being taught about their anatomy; you know, that incredible thing called the clitoris? Most people think it’s the external bead atop the vaginal opening, where the labia minora come together. In fact, that is just the glans clitoris: the tip of the pleasure-iceberg!

The full anatomy of the clitoris is actually an incredible nerve network, and was only discovered in 1998! (Again, if you aren’t gasping, read that again!). As depicted in the image below, the entire clitoris runs approximately 4 inches deep into the body, and extends (internally) from the glans clitoris down and around the entire vaginal opening. The glans clitoris contains approximately 8,000 nerve endings, compared to the penis, which has about half of that.

Image taken from Women On Waves

According to Sheri Winston, a wholistic sexuality teacher (and female anatomy/arousal expert), women have the same amount of erectile tissue as men, but it takes approximately 30-45 minutes for this tissue (the clitoris) to become completely engorged with blood. It isn’t until this moment that penetration should take place, as it could cause discomfort in the female.

Let’s put that into terms we can all understand. If the female erectile tissue is not completely engorged prior to penetration, it is the equivalent of a penis attempting to fuck someone with a semi-hard-on (or less). In other words, and again, in the wise words of Sheri Winston, we are experiencing an epidemic of premature penetration!

How would any vagina-possessing human be interested in sexual intercourse (aka penetration) when, not only are they not getting anything out of it, it’s actually painful? In addition, only 20-25% of women can orgasm through penetration alone. Expecting someone with a vulva to orgasm just through penetration, is like asking a person with a penis to ejaculate without having that penis stimulated.

For the sake of this article, however, let’s stay on the path of penetration. Of course, there are circumstances, such as my friend’s, whereby no amount of outercourse or lube can eliminate the pain that occurs once something enters her vagina. There are medical conditions, such as vaginismus, that make penetration of any sort (be it with a toy, finger, penis, etc.) painful, if not, impossible. Vaginismus is the painful spasmodic contractions of the vagina. In other words, when my friend has something inserted inside of her, her vaginal muscles begin to convulse and tighten, causing a restriction around the item, if not completely closing her pussy up. The cause? It could have psychological or physiological roots. If you are experiencing this, please speak to your gynecologist, perhaps a sex therapist (psychological), and/or get a referral to a pelvic floor physical therapist (physiological). There is NOTHING wrong with you – you are not broken!

In saying all of this…

Sex should not be painful! Sex should not be one-sided, nor should it be penis-centric. Sex is an umbrella term that includes any and all activities you find erotic, arousing and pleasing. There is no template for sex! In fact, when two or more people come together to form a partnership (be it long-term or casual), learning and defining what sex means to you – to all the people involved – can be a very exciting and thrilling process.

I recently sent this message to my friend. It’s something that I think everyone should hear, think about, and apply. If everyone subscribed to this method, the orgasm gap would close. If everyone subscribed to this method, much of the discomfort could be eliminated. If everyone subscribed to this method, perhaps more relationships would keep the spark, because all parties would be feeling emotionally and physically satisfied. And that message is:

“…It’s super important to understand that penetrative sex is not the only kind of sex, AND it shouldn’t be obligatory. Maybe, at least for now, while you deal with your pain [get the answers and treatment you require], penetrative sex should be off the table. I think that would take so much pressure off of you, and make intimacy with [your partner] much more enjoyable, let alone more frequent. You may find you get your desire back because the fear of pain will be lifted. It is definitely a conversation worth having with him. I love you, and you deserve pleasure! And because we live in a world that values the penis, people are taught that penetration is the end-all-be-all; that if you can’t perform/receive this, that means something is wrong with you, when in fact, it isn’t even necessary. Like, there are SO many other ways to enjoy each other and to reach orgasm (if that’s what you want the goal to be….but even that is up to YOU!). It’s just critical that people begin creating their own template, their own play book, for what sex looks like in their relationship(s). And since you’ve been dealing with so much medical crap and discomfort, I really believe that defining your own pleasure is critical, AND it’ll be so empowering. Like I said, you deserve pleasure, whatever that looks like to you.”

To keep with tradition, I will share a few ways Master J and I have defined our sex life. In other words, how we approach sex depending on our life circumstances, moods, and seasons. Even as people who enjoy hardcore sex, a large part of our sexual relationship doesn’t include penetration, let alone BDSM dynamics.

PLAYBOOK OF MASTER J & QUEAN MO

Period Sex

I’ll be straight up, Master J doesn’t like blood and it has nothing to do with the fact that it comes from my uterus. We could be in the middle of sex, and my nose could start bleeding, and he’d have to stop. It simply makes him queasy. So, what do we do then when I’m horny af, but he can’t promise he won’t pass out mid-session?

Simple. Depending on how heavy my period is, he will use his hands. But, more than not, I will masturbate while he plays with my chest. I am very dependent on breast-stimulation for an orgasm anyway, so it allows him to provide mono-focussed sensation on that part of my body.

For him, I tend to perform oral. I am someone who deeply enjoys giving this type of pleasure, so it’s usually an option for him during my period. In fact, we participated in a D/s scene (at my request), whereby the only thing he could penetrate was my mouth. It was a sexy twist to our regular D/s scenes, and it allowed him to focus on his fetish of mouth play.

Altruistic Sex

Let’s be real, there are moments where one of us just wants to please the other. Sometimes it’s because only one of us are in the mood, or we simply connect the deepest when we bring the other to orgasm. Of course, if one of us is horny, we never put pressure on the unaroused partner. In saying that, one thing I’ve recognized about our relationship is, even if we don’t necessarily want to be stimulated ourselves, we are quite happy pleasing the other.

What does this look like for us? Usually exploration of the body through touch, leading into oral or manual stimulation.

Lazy Sex

Then, of course, you have those moments that you’re super horny, but also incredibly tired. This has been happening a lot for us lately, as we finish the season in the mountains. What usually takes place is a combination of easy sexual positions for low-exertion penetration (missionary, or variations of – for example, I’m on my stomach instead of my back – or spooning). We may also engage in mutual masturbation, or very light, genital centric touching.

Exploration

If we’re feeling a bit curious, we will purchase or download a game that will introduce us to new activities, positions or stimulation. We will at times incorporate new toys, equipment, kink wear, or create an entirely new scenario/character. We will also explore different ways of experiencing sex, such as through Tantric practices. We are both very good at remaining open, and welcoming any new sexual adventure that comes our way, so long as it stays within the boundaries and agreements of our relationship.

The Full Shabang

When Master J and I are feeling on top of our game – energetic, horny, connected – and we have the proper environment, we will participate in a variety of D/s scenes. For us, this type of sex takes the most time, is the most exerting, and requires the most amount of prep.

Usually, one of us will decide on 5-10 items we wish to use in the scene, and set them up accordingly. I will put myself in a sub mindset, for example, the slave or whore. Master J will take time to tie me up, and before getting into physically intense play (example, impact play, active humiliation, such as crawling on hands and knees while wearing a collar and leash, or performing sexual acts on him, such as oral), he will spend time warming my body up, while using verbal humiliation. This usually takes the form of name calling, tantalizing non-genital body touch, and the eventual switch between oral/manual/penetrative sex, in a variety of positions.

CONCLUSION

No matter what you decide sex means to you, always remember that you are responsible for your own orgasm and pleasure, regardless where your anatomy sits on the spectrum of vulva to penis. This means understanding what your body enjoys, as well as being selective about partners. You should value your pleasure enough to choose someone who cares as much about your satisfaction as they do their own. It’s important to be vocal about your needs! If someone doesn’t receive this information with grace, step out of the bed (or, you know, wherever you’re doing it), and create space for someone who will.

Until next time,

Fuck well, friends!

BDSM Travel Basics

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Keeping it Kinky on the Road

As you all probably know, for the last few weeks, Master J and I have been traveling. A lot! Since our time in Paris (between adventures in Moon City, Les Chandelles and then my brother’s surprise bday visit), we’ve stayed with three different friends in three different cities. And, although it’s been wonderful (our friends are super generous), I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t affect our sex life.

As a traveling couple, we understand that the opportunities to engage in our D/s relationship are minimized, especially considering we rarely stay in hotels. How then, people have asked me, do Master J and I have a fulfilling D/s relationship, when we are continuously couch surfing?

Here, my friends, are the ways we’ve managed to keep it kinky on the road:

Equipment Essentials

No matter where we travel to – whether it be a weekend away in Bruges, or a four week visit to mémé’s house – there are a few items we always (and I mean ALWAYS) have with us.

1. A collar and a leash

I am a submissive.

Even more than that, I identify as my Master’s slave. There’s nothing that puts me into sub-space faster than being treated like an animal. Not only do I enjoy having something around my neck, but when I put the collar on, the symbolism is quite significant; Master J knows that he is now in control, and if I don’t obey him, he can punish me as he wishes.

For my birthday, Master J bought me this new, beautiful collar and leash (perhaps you recognize it from previous posts on instagram).

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 Together, they are small and flexible enough to fit in any bag, without taking up too much space. As Master J puts it, “They are easy to carry, aren’t too heavy, and they’re objects that very easily put us in the mood.”

2. Handcuffs

The second most crucial item in my BDSM toolbox (literally), are my ASLAN LEATHER handcuffs.

My submissive nature requires restraint. It heightens the feelings of “loss of control,” and therefore forces me to let go (something I struggle with during vanilla sex). Bondage keeps me from overthinking, and also puts me into, what I call, my “animal” state – being treated like something lower than human, which is…freakin’ hot!

Generally speaking, I believe handcuffs should be a staple for any BDSM relationship – especially when traveling – as they are a subtler, less complex form of restraint. They take a few seconds to put on, and with some connectors and a bit of creativity, can still get you into some wicked positions.

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 3. Rope

Yes. We bring rope. It is light. It is subtle. It is flexible. It literally fits any where. It can do what handcuffs can’t. The possibilities are endless.Nuff said.

Want a great rope retailer? Twisted Monk is the place to go. They have how-to videos, information out the whazoo, and a perfect rope just for Y.O.U.

Wearables

Master J and I always come to new places prepared for sex clubs, meaning, we always have one very sexy outfit with us. In addition to that, I now pack my breast harness – another gift from Master J this year.

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 Not only is this harness totally flexible, and therefore can fit anywhere; it’s super light, comfortable and can be worn under clothing. Similar to the collar and leash, it is a great visual; something that quickly puts Master J in the mood, and in turn, makes me feel very sexy.

What I also love about the harness is, even without the handcuffs, collar and leash, the style (black leather, with metal, rein terret-like pieces) gives off such a strong sub vibe that, even without the other equipment, sets a kinky ambience – and again, makes me feel like a beast in need of domestication.

All the Rest

So, to sum it up, our BDSM essentials are a collar and leash, handcuffs, rope, my breast harness and a nice outfit, in case we find a good club. In addition to this (and what may be obvious), we always have condoms and lube.

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 I hope it goes without saying that, regardless of how much we try to prepare, we don’t always get to indulge in our preferred sexuality. Life happens, and sometimes there are just more important things that have to be done; however, when we get the time, we definitely make it count! Part of keeping that desire going is constant communication about how we feel for one another, our fantasies, and anticipating the next time we can get frisky.

Sex starts outside of the bedroom, and doesn’t just include penetration. It’s also about attentiveness, affection, flirting, teasing, speaking, kissing, touching (outercourse), and the list goes on…

Until next time,

Fuck-well, friends!

So, tell me, what are some tricks you’ve learned along the way to keep the spark going during moments or situations that don’t give you intimate access to one another?

RAF: Presenting Button-Dick Brian

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CONTENT NOTE: Images of genitilia to follow.
 
Brian and I came across one another via Instagram. Truth be told, he initiated the conversation by complimenting Call of the Quean’s content, after having submitted his questionnaire to be the next Collar Club Member of the Month (find his profile here). I had been looking for the right man to feature for Men’s Health Month, and I’m ecstatic that I found Brian (or…that he found me). His instagram profile states:

UK Male submissive, with a foot fetish and a burning desire to worship and serve females.

And to add to his beautiful foot-fetishy, female-serving, submissive ways, he also let me in on a little secret…

He has a small penis.

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 Not only do I think he is a funny, unashamed and admirable human, but also, someone who can shine a brighter light on the fact that SIZE DOESN’T ACTUALLY MATTER and (stealing words from Emily Nagoski here), we have all the same parts, just organized differently. Abbreviation: BODY DIVERSITY. And what better way to start Men’s Health Month than by challenging yet another deeply engrained and harmful societal message?

So, without further ado, I want to welcome Brian.

It’s been such a pleasure conversing with you so far. To start off, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself so readers can get a general sense of who you are.

Hi, I’m Brian, a straight 28 year old male from the north east of England. I work as a graphic designer; single at the moment, but in service to an amazing girl who allows me to clean her house, wash her car, give her pedicures…anything she wants really, and in return I receive humiliation,and am allowed to worship her shoes and feet.

My main fetish is for female feet and shoes, especially when smelly. I can become in a trance-like state from a strong smelling female foot. It’s crazy. Better than any drug. Then there is my second love; what started as my nightmare, then turned into a fetish: SPH (small penis humiliation). When I’m not licking shoes clean, I’m a huge graphic art fan, who loves cars and motorcycles.

Around what age did you realize that your penis was on the smaller side?

I would say I realized about age 12-13, just by seeing other guys penises in locker rooms, on the TV and the internet.

To give some perspective, do you mind telling us approximately how large your penis is when erect?

3 inch or 8 cm.

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So, the size of your penis used to be a source of insecurity. Did having a small penis impact your childhood and/or teenage years?

It was never an issue during childhood, but as I grew into my teenage years I always kept it covered when in locker rooms to prevent being mocked. I lost my virginity at 18 to my first real girlfriend. She never really mentioned it. She knew I was ashamed of it, so alway used to play it down. Luckily I’vealways managed to get by on my personality and looks [laughter].

Most of my girls are too polite to mention it. One night stands on the other hand…some have laughed; or the other reaction is “awww, it’s so cute.” The rest, I think, is a bit of a curiosity thing. I realized I liked being humiliated when I was seeing a dominant goth girl. She knew I liked feet, and she enjoyed mocking me. That was kind of the start of my love for SPH.

At what age did you begin to accept yourself, and what did you do to overcome insecurities?

Around 24 [years of age] when I really got into fetish.Becoming a true submissive was what really made me overcome my embarrassment and embrace my small man hood.

When you start a new relationship or have sexual experiences with new partners, do you feel the need to discuss the size of your penis before hand?

Yes, just for clarity, and so neither party is made to feel uncomfortable. The other reason I mention it is because I cant perform deep penetrative sex.

How has having a small penis affected your sexuality overall?

I would say it’s made me more submissive, and enjoy the fetish world even more.

In our culture, it’s quite common for men to be concerned with the size of their member. Even if sex has remained a taboo subject, we are still bombarded with subliminal (and sometimes very blatant) messages indicating “size matters.” A perfect example would be penis enlargement advertisements (they are everywhere!). These messages don’t take into consideration body diversity whatsoever. So, my question for you is: what advice would you give to men, or people who identify as male, who struggle with penile-related insecurities? And what message would you like to give to the population who subscribeto the “size matters” philosophy?

Size is not an issue when a female or male really likes you for who you are; size is irrelevant. You might have to put that bit of extra effort in or involve toys to enhance your partners experience, but you shouldn’t worry or have regrets because life is as short as my penis, pun intended.

I want to get very personal for a moment (as if I haven’t already), regarding performance. This is a two part question…

During our private conversations, you had mentioned that having a smaller penis has allowed you to sharpen other sexual skills. Do you mind elaborating on what you mean by that? And in relation, does that mean penetration is not a primary sexual act for you?

Due to my lack-of-size, certain positions just aren’t an option for me. I just constantly slip out. To overcome this I will sometimes wear a penis sleeve, if the partner wants deep penetration. Another thing I do to enhance sex for my partner is oral. I ironically have a long tongue and work hard on giving good oral. Massage, sensuality and touch are also key. I think because I put so much effort into the enjoyment of my partner, the size of my penis almost becomes irrelevant.

You are a submissive and foot fetishist. Tell us a bit about how you fell into these two kinks, and what they mean for you?

I have alway liked feet for as long as I can remember. Even at the age of 10, I can remember sneaking off to smell my aunt’s shoes. As a result of the foot fetish the submissive side of me grew as I matured. It all really fell into place with an old girlfriend – the goth girl I mentioned earlier on. I remember one time she had been wearing an old pair of black ballet flats all day, on a red, hot summer day. We came back to my place and she made me take off all my clothes while she remained fully clothed. I was forced to lick her worn out shoes clean.She then made me smell the shoe, and then her foot. The scent was so strong, and had me on the edge right away. With one foot in my face, she slipped off the other shoe, held her big toe near the head of my penis and said, “my big toe is bigger than your cock.” With that, her toe accidentally – and lightly – brushed the head of my penis, and I came everywhere as she laughed. I have never come so much or hard. My other fetishes that have grown from that day: I like being trampled, being kicked in the balls, spat on. I’m a real freak. The list goes on and will probably never stop.

Let’s destroy this stigma…Tell me, what are the benefits of having a smaller penis?

You never hurt your partner’s vagina; blowjobs are easier (no choking), and its empowering to the female having the guy at an instant disadvantage. At the end of the day, everyone is different and there is a match for everyone if you are willing to open up and look.

I believe overall wellness cannot be reached without a healthy self image, and by sharing realities such as this – you know, that bodies can vary dramatically from one another, but that no body is better or worse than any other – we will slowly move away from the narrow ideals that society has defined for our physiques.

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Brian, your journey to self-acceptance is truly inspiring. The male perspective on body diversity issues and insecurity rarely gets time in the spotlight, so because of that, I want to thank you for participating in Men’s Health Month. I hope to do this again soon.

Until next time,

Fuck-well, friends!

Les Chandelles

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My evening at the famous sex club, Paris

Master and I walked down a small avenue in Paris, looking for door number 1 – literally, that was the address. We must have walked by it three times, as it was so discreet. When we finally took notice of the inconspicuous blue door, our nerves flared.

We stepped into the tiny waiting room, just outside of the lobby, giggling and kissing one another. The black walls that surrounded us were marbled with gold. That six-by-six space already held such intense energy, and we were not alone.

An older couple – probably mid 50’s – eagerly awaited the doorman. After a few moments, this large body – a tall, handsome, well-dressed, serious, gay man – opened the gates to Les Chandelles: our dreamland. He looked at the couple in front of us, and nearly turned them away. I hadn’t understood the problem, as the woman was in a sexy, black dress, and the man who accompanied her sported an elegant white suit jacket, and dress pants. That’s when Master J subtly pointed to the man’s feet. He wore a casual, high quality sneaker. Our beautiful doorman took notice, and told them it was against dress code. The gentleman in sneakers begged, telling him that he and his wife had travelled a long way to visit Les Chandelles. Eventually they were granted access, but it was a close call.

Master J and I, having already understood the strict dress code, entered without issue. He, in a blue suit; me, sporting a mini-black dress, with the black, leather straps of my breast harness visible. We had fit the profile perfectly.

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You may remember this little number from previous posts. 


 In the red velvet lobby of Les Chandelles, Master J and I were required to hand over our coats, phones, and any other loose items we had, with the exception of a present Master J had brought for me. Once checked in, the doorman led us down one flight of stairs, into a dimly lit restaurant. Similar to Moon City, the room was illuminated by a red glow, only instead of the temple theme of Moon City, Les Chandelles’ décor was much more sophisticated: cushioned booths and pillows, chandeliers, candles, rouge upholstered walls, tiny bowls of chocolate covered almonds…basically an environment any woman with a deep love for Victorian class (and chocolate) would melt in.

Without going into the detail about the food, as this is not a food/restaurant review blog, I must say, should you ever go, do not skip out on the cheese cake. I had my first (and only) orgasm that night the second I put it in my mouth.

Once the meal was complete, and wine glasses emptied, it was time to make our way underground…

Another staircase down we discovered the club. Imagine a cave of wonders, only the wonders were in the form of beautiful humans and candy buffets (I shit you not, they had one!)!

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Entrance to the underground club of Les Chandelles – including the candy buffet to the left. 


 I felt I had walked out of real life and onto the set of some upscale porn shoot. The music was pumping, the people had just begun to drink, and Master J and I were vibrating from the excitement.

When you walk into the club, directly in front of you is a small lounge. The walls are lined with more of those beautiful cushioned couches, and in the centre of the floor is a stripper pole. To the right of the lounge are archways into the night club – a long, cocktail bar, booths around the perimeter of the dance floor, and yet again, another stripper pole. But those weren’t the spaces we were most curious about. It was to the left of the lounge – behind the curtains – where the hedonists go to play.

Prior to my experiences, when I heard the term “sex den” I’d imagined exactly this: Les Salles de Les Chandelles.

You literally move out of the light and into the dark. The walls are stone. It feels like you’re inside a medieval prison – which for me, just adds to the eroticism. There are two rooms at Les Chandelles. One that includes two large, raised, mattressed areas, and a booth-like stool that is fixed to, and lines the perimeter of, the far wall. The mattresses are more for group sex, whereby the stools give very little space for even couples (I knelt on it, while Master J stood on the floor behind me). The second room is like the first, only much (and I mean much) smaller. Whether it’s because of it’s size, or it’s just the most popular space in the place, don’t even consider going in unless you have the intention of fucking and being fucked. In other words, you can’t tell where one human ends and the other begins.

The only “private” space at Les Chandelles, is a petite opening in the wall, just off the large sex room. It is big enough for two people; however, anyone passing by can watch at any time.

Although it was an aesthetic dream come true for me– you know, Victorian class mixed with the medieval prison – it was one of the most frustrating clubs I’d ever been to. It was impossible to have sex. There was simply no room, unless, as I’d mentioned before, you want to get fucked (or at least groped) by someone else.

Just to put it into perspective:

– Master J, as I’d mentioned, had been penetrating me from behind as I knelt on the stool in the large sex room. Literally, every time someone walked behind us (which was contantly), I had a hand graze or grope some part of my body (other than my genitals themselves). Master J had to tell several people that we weren’t into group sex or switching. These people never verbally asked us, they simply just started touching me – both men and women. We weren’t offended by this, as it is a swingers club, and therefore it is almost expected, if I can say that. But my issue, as I mentioned in my last post about Moon City, is that I’m used to a certain type of verbal exchange in regards to receiving and granting permission. Don’t get me wrong, once you say no, those people respect your space. It’s just, for someone who actually enjoys having sex amongst others, it was very distracting to constantly be rejecting interested bodies, when I just wanted to be present with Master J. At some point, we just gave up and stopped having sex because it was impossible to stay focused on each other.

– After leaving the sex area, we took a drink to the lounge. Within five minutes of us sitting down, two couples started fucking right against the wall….literally twelve inches from where we sat. We were totally cool with it, and the guy in the couple closest to us actually started a conversation with us while he was fucking his woman. It was a comical experience. But, the reason why I bring this up is because the bouncers confronted both couples, telling them they were not allowed to have sex in the lounge, just in les salles. The man, who had been speaking to us, responded to that with, “Where exactly? Should I just hop on top of the others, and fuck my woman on someone else’s back?”

In other words, the rooms were overflowing.

To sum it all up, Les Chandelles was a surprising experience, both for good and not-so good reasons. Of course, the beginning of the evening – the restaurant, and the earlier hours within the club – were the most enjoyable, as it hadn’t yet become overwhelmingly full. We had gone on a “couples only” night, and the entire charade – which included dinner, a bottle of wine, two rounds of cocktails and access to the club – cost approximately €300, which Master J and I later agreed was worth the experience; however, we would most likely never return. We concluded that there are less expensive clubs that guarantee a good time (if you know what I mean).

Of course, as my readers know by now, Master J and I aren’t swingers. And, unfortunately, most sex clubs are specific to that lifestyle. This is why I’m not too harsh on these places, because I understand that as a non-swinger, it is unrealistic to think certain things (such as being asked constantly to fuck other people) won’t happen. If you are a swinger – especially if you’re turned on by the idea of group sex – Les Chandelles may be just the place for you! If you’re someone who just likes to party in unique (and erotic) places, even without the intention of doing the dirty, why not? Hit it up! As I said, it truly is a beautiful club, and it’s definitely a place you won’t easily forget.

So, tell me, what would be your ideal sex club? And is there anything else you’d like to know about this one?

Until next time,

Fuck-well, friends!

Sex Club Prep

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I went to my first sex club in 2015. Master J and I had been together less than a year, and he’d been to this particular place with his previous submissive. I have to admit, I was incredibly nervous. I’ve always been quite private about my body, so the idea of fucking in front of people was something I’d only fantasized about, with no real intention of bringing that fantasy to life. He opened that door for me, and I’m grateful he did.

I was very fortunate because my first sex club was the Oasis Aqua Lounge in Toronto, Ontario. Not only is this the cleanest sex club I have been to, but the rules and regulations are drawn out for you at the get-go. I’ll explain why these two things are so important in a moment.

Unlike most other sex clubs I’ve been to, the Oasis Aqua Lounge is not a swingers club. Of course, swinging does occur, as well there are designated nights for this specific lifestyle, but in general, it’s very open to all types of sexualities!

I’m thrilled my first club experience was so positive, because it opened me up to the idea of sex clubbing in general. The downside to this is it’s also made me very picky about other clubs I visit.

Rather than just spilling my heart out over the Oasis Aqua Lounge, below I’ve listed what I believe are the main things you should keep in mind when deciding on a sex club.

1. Price

Like any business, price varies depending on the city its in, what’s included in the price, the amenities, and the type of night you’re paying for. For example, most clubs have separate prices for couples and single people. It is usually more expensive for single men, and they are only allowed to enter on designated nights. In some clubs, the door price may include one (or more) free beverage, snacks or dinner (I’ve even seen a candy buffet!), condoms and lube, use of equipment (example: whips, handcuffs), access to pool, hot tub, sauna and steam room.

2. Dress Code

What you wear will depend on the club. Some clubs require that you take all of your clothes off, while others give you the freedom of expression. In my articles to come, I will speak about the specific dress code of the clubs I visited.

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Dressed up for Les Chandelles (Paris) in the new harness Master J bought me for my birthday! 


3. Rules

Okay, this is where I’ll spill the love for the Oasis Aqua Lounge. Of course, in any club, “no means no.” Should any one disrespect your right to decline, you can report them and have them kicked out. The difference between OAL and other clubs I’ve been to is you have to ask…like…verbally. With your voice. That means you literally need to open your mouth and have a conversation if you want to touch, or if you want to watch. If this conversation doesn’t happen…you’re out! Other clubs don’t have the verbal policy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people rubbing up on me, in hopes that I would just go with the flow. I will say, I’ve never had to say “no” more than once for people to back off, but, to be asked is a lot nicer than suddenly feeling a hand on your backside.

4. Cleanliness / Hygiene / Protection

I will not go near a sex club that does not take sanitation, hygiene or protection of their clientele seriously. Having gone to a club like the Oasis Aqua Lounge, where there are condoms, lube, paper towel and spray in almost every corner of the house, along with at least one employee constantly cleaning the place, I have super high standards when it comes to laying my naked ass down on anything. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve been to a club where it was so dirty and unkempt (used condoms left on the mattresses, liquid, from God knows what, all over the place), I almost demanded my money back. This is a difficult one, because every club will claim they are clean. My best advice is to read the reviews OR visit the club and ask if you can do a walk-through before committing to paying the price for the evening.

5. Events / Themes

As a couple looking to play with each other (and another woman), Master J and I are very particular about which events we go to. As mentioned, most clubs have designated nights for couples. On couples’ nights, usually single women are allowed to enter. That’s what we want. Master J and I avoid events that permit entry of solo males. Why? We aren’t too keen on having a group (and yes, I mean a group) of men masturbating while watching us do our thing. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have some exhibitionist bones in my body, but there is usually a level of creepiness that comes with the prying eyes of desperately horny men…

In addition to paying attention to designated couples/singles nights, make sure that the theme of the evening reflects your sexual interests. For example, if you aren’t part of the LGBTQ community, maybe don’t go on a night that is dedicated to them…

6. Play Time

Every club is different. Different layout, different themes, different styles, different demographic, different…everything. I’ll be going into detail about three clubs in particular this month to give you a nice, diverse look within their walls. For now, here’s a general glimpse from my experience.

Most clubs have designated areas where the magic happens. These areas tend to be called “cuddle corners.” They can be anything from a couch, to large leather beds, to dungeons. Most areas are communal; however, some clubs will have private rooms for people who want to get freaky behind closed doors. This of course is something you’ll need to research should that be your cup of tea.

Cuddle corners vary depending on the club. For example, the only area that’s off limits in the Oasis Aqua Lounge is the hot tub. I’ve been to other clubs where you have to be in, what they call, the Salon – dark rooms that are separate from the lounge and bar.

7. Clientele

There is no saying who you’ll find at a sex club. I’ve seen people as young as 19, and as old as 70. I’ve never been to an event that has an age cap. Of course, the age limit is dependent on the law in your state/province/country. The demographics depend on the appeal of the club itself, and the area it’s in. Of course, if they advertise more to students (because, say, it’s near a university), you’ll have a younger crowd. Usually more upscale clubs, with higher entry-fees, will have a more mature demographic.

8. The Sex (not mandatory)

Yes…people will be having sex around you in a sex club.

Unless you’re in a private and locked room, don’t be surprised if it happens often and with a lot of people. People get naked, people fuck, people switch, they do it alone, they do it in groups, people make noises and people leave their juices behind. People. Have. Sex. In. Sex. Clubs. This doesn’t mean you have to, of course. Many people go because they like that kind of atmosphere, or are trying to figure out if it’s their thing. There is no pressure. That doesn’t mean people won’t approach you if they’re interested. That’s where you need to be comfortable in exercising your “no.” They have the right to ask. So yes, people have sex in sex clubs. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Can’t wait for the weeks to come to share my personal club experiences! Until then,

Fuck-well, friends!

Curious about sex clubs? What else would you like to know?

Happy Humiliation

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So, I’m kind of winging this one as the last week has been cray cray.

We moved from Tignes to Dijon, and then hustled our butts to Paris! We’ll be staying here for ten days, and celebrating my birthday (May 10th!). Lots of exciting things to come (no pun intended) in the near future for Master J and me. Now that we’re down from the mountain, the party is really getting started. And how did we begin?

If you’ve avidly been reading my posts, you’ll know I’m a submissive who leans more towards humiliation than pain. Pain is something I can genuinely enjoy if the situation is right…in other words, I have to be severely turned on! Like tie-me-up-or-I’ll-fuck-everything-in-sight turned on. I will admit, I sometimes envy those women who reach the edge as their asses are turning blue. Unfortunately, I have rarely gotten there without hissing the dreaded safeword at my Master J.

After much discussion with him, and pushing down my pride to finally admit that, no, I’m not into the physical suffering as much as I’d like to be, or so much as the degradation. And fine, I’ll try to accept that part of me, regardless of the countless times I’ve desperately tried to overcome the sting of his hand or whip against my bare ass.

Totally distraught by this new self-discovery, I truly felt I lost a piece of my submissive identity. But rather than wallowing in any kind of grief, Master J saw opportunity…

There was so much more for us to explore in the realm of humiliation! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent long moments on all fours, crawling around, obeying Master J’s commands. All while collared and pulled on by a leash. I’ve been bound and gagged, abused verbally, denied orgasm, even caged…

Yet, there was no stopping there. If I can say one thing about my Master, it’s he is a man of ambition, and I’d just given him a challenge he was ready to accept fully. If humiliation is what I like, then humiliation is what I’d get…

One recent night I came in the door. Master J grabbed my face and throat, slammed the door while simultaneously slamming me against the wall. “Are you ready, little slut?” Were his first words. My legs were already tingling. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, my moans vibrated between us.

“Your clothes are in the bathroom. Change and then meet me at the dinner table. Okay, Slave?”

“Yes,” I answered, breathless.

“Yes, who?” He demanded. My face still in his grip.

“Yes, Master.”

In the bathroom I found a mini black skirt, my rose-patterned nylons, and a black tank top. No bra. No panties. Oh…and my beloved red collar, and a chain leash. I put it all on and attached the leash. When I emerged, I was timid and uncertain what I’d be walking into. My heart was still pounding from the previous, unexpected confrontation.

His back was to me. He sat at the table. He was dressed beautifully in black. The way my Master knows I dream of him. I sat down. He took hold of the leash, pulled it towards him, drawing me near. Then kissed me. This time gently. The contrast was startling.

“Eat.” It was blunt. No room for questions. Before me was a beautiful Japanese platter. He bought my favourite food. Sashimi. Maki. Sushi. I [happily] obliged.

I ate. We sipped wine. And before I knew it, my Master had me on my knees again. I worshipped him at his feet. I put my mouth where he commanded, and I repeated the dirty words he required of me.

Sexually we revisited staples from our humiliation toolkit, plus added the layer of non-sexual control that came with the dress code and the eating. And although it was a magical night, I knew we had yet reached our limit – my limit. There’s still so much to come.

Saying goodbye to the mountain life is only opening doors for us. And even if I had to say goodbye to my favourite nylons that night, the humiliation high – and accepting that this is my kind of kink – was well worth it.

Until next time,

Fuck-well, friends!

Where on the spectrum are you between humiliation and pain? Do you like one or the other, both, neither? What kind of humiliation/pain?

RAF – Date with a Dom, Pt. IV (The Finale): Shame to Acceptance

CONT’D

QM: I think for the sake of this article, we should talk about it. I know earlier you said that, at the beginning, there was shame for you. You were my first true dominant. I may have had moments where I felt like, ya, he’s dominating me, but I never had a good feeling in those moments, so I’d either stop the sex or I just wouldn’t sleep with that person again. With you, as I mentioned before, there is always so much caring, yet there were a few times – one very vivid memory – where I broke down after you dominated me.

MASTER J: Ya, and you’re not the first one. There are a lot of women who have been dominated, and feel that way. Even if its not a true domination, afterwards you feel bad about yourself; there’s some kind of shame or guilt and you don’t understand why.

QM: Well, I think there are two reasons for it. One: straight up, you’re just not doing it with the right person, or a person who doesn’t engage in aftercare – that tenderness you spoke about – which I believe is mandatory. Which happened in most sexual encounters before you. Secondly–

MASTER J: You judge yourself.

QM: You do, but I don’t think it’s a conscious thing, because the specific night I’m speaking about, I just felt weird and I wanted to cry, and you had been spanking me, slapping my face, tied me up, and I loved it. At no moment during was I wanting it to stop, in fact, I wanted more. But then after…it’s like you hit this high and suddenly you come crashing down, and think, “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

MASTER J: Exactly, it’s like, “why do I want that? How do I like that?”

QM: Ya, and you almost judge the other person, like, “well, how could he do that to me?” But then you tell yourself, “you asked for it!” It’s a vicious and stupid cycle.

MASTER J: And at that point, you need to simply accept it, accept how you feel and what happened. You need to you allow yourself to think, “okay, I feel weird now, but is it what I wanted? Yes. Did I have a good time? Yes.”

QM: Yes, you have to have a conversation with yourself, and the other person, too. I think that’s probably what I’d say to friends if they confided in me, telling me they want to try submission and domination. I’d say communicate before and communicate after. You have to leave those doors open, without the fear of shame or worry. For me that’s huge. Maybe that’s why my sexual experiences before weren’t what they should have been or could have been, and it’s not the man’s fault in a lot of the cases, and it’s not my fault…like there’s no blame, we just never spoke.

MASTER J: It’s true. You have to speak after, and you have to allow yourself to speak after. You can’t feel shame about it. I’m going to take the married woman for example. One day she had a meeting very close to where I worked. She literally stopped for five minutes, gave me a blowjob and left. She was texting me before about how she was going to be my “whore” that I didn’t even have to pay, and so on. It was a play. She was the one who asked for it, she told me she wanted it. It completely came from her, yet not even five minutes after she left, I received a phone call. She was like “I feel so bad, I don’t know what’s happening. I feel like you used me, even though I asked for it.” So I told her that I really appreciated her, and we didn’t have to have that kind of relationship; that everything we say to each other during is fake, it’s a play and I have never thought of her as a whore or a slut. She felt so much better after that, and of course, we continued having that kind of sex.

QM: And after she spoke to you she probably felt so relieved and thought it was worth it.

MASTER J: Yes, and I had a lot of shame with her when we first started speaking and having sex. I broke it off with her because of this shame. I had convinced myself she was crazy, and that that kind of sex wasn’t normal. Neither of us were crazy. We were just being true to ourselves. She, of course, left when I told her I wanted to end it, but she came back 45 minutes later and wouldn’t accept it because she believed we needed to go further. And once again, she came back to give me a blowjob. That was something she truly enjoyed, and I think it’s because her husband wasn’t allowing it. But the shame isn’t just for the submissive, it’s for the dominant. You wonder, “why do I want to hurt someone so bad? Why do I take pleasure in seeing tears; why when I bruise her ass or gag  her, it’s such a good feeling…?”

QM: Where do you think this shame comes from? Do you think it’s because we live in a world where sex is, first of all, super taboo? Maybe it’s different for you because you’re from France, it’s a different culture…

MASTER J: I think for a dominant, because I can’t speak for the submissive, the shame is coming from the fact that it isn’t good to give pain to someone. You don’t do that. You don’t hurt anyone. How can you take pleasure in hurting someone?

QM: Right. Especially maybe more for you because you grew up in a culture where the woman’s pleasure is so important.

MASTER J: I know, but the married woman enjoyed everything I was doing. She enjoyed it when I was giving pain; and just the idea of giving pain and loving it so much is what freaked me out.

QM: You were overwhelmed or intimidated, or something. Right. But what I mean is, when you were young you were almost brainwashed through media, and even women you spoke with, that their pleasure is the priority, and all of a sudden you want to inflict pain? And if we look at the definition of pleasure and pain, typically they don’t go together. They are the opposite in a sense, which is kind of sad and wrong. It can almost be another step. The pain is like a cherry on top of the pleasure.

MASTER J: That’s because you build up to that.

QM: Yes, speaking specifically about me, it’s like I want to feel more and feel more and feel more.

MASTER J: When a girl like my previous sex partner or the married woman, they liked the pain from the beginning. I had a woman in Punta Cana who was the same. It’s not like you go slow and you speak, they didn’t need that.

QM: I think it’s important to note for the article, that everything we are speaking about is from our experience and our perspectives; and when we speak about women and men, it’s generalized also based on what we’ve experienced, the cultures and areas we come from. Sexuality is so individual. There are things that people do or want to do that we probably can’t even imagine! Things that aren’t even in the same realm as what we are speaking about here.

MASTER J: Oh ya. There are women – well women I have been with – who I can pinch their nipples so hard that I can feel my fingertips through the other side.

QM: Oh my god, I’m hurting just thinking about it.

MASTER J: Exactly. Then there are other women that you can’t even consider it because their nipples are so sensitive, and that’s just one part!

QM: I know, we have a whole body to deal with.

MASTER J: Exactly. You can put your little finger in someone’s ass, and it hurts, while others you can put nearly your full hand in their ass, and they come like that.

QM: Ya, and that’s just speaking about women; men are the same. I’m very curious if you were to take away a

nything that puts a box around sexuality, what people would truly be doing. Would it be more open?

MASTER J: Well, you definitely have people who are following their fantasies and sexual nature. You have swingers clubs, nudist communities–

QM: Oh ya, it’s true, but those communities or lifestyles aren’t mainstream. They’re kind of hidden. You don’t know unless you’re a part of it.

MASTER J: It is, it’s very hidden. People don’t want their friends or family to know out of fear of being judged, or worse. I mean, I have maybe two friends – and I have quite a few friends – that truly know me as a dominant.

QM: That you’ve spoken to, not because you’ve had sex with them?

MASTER J: No, I’m speaking about men, about friends. There’s three actually. No one else knows. No one even knows I like handcuffs…

QM: Well, my family knows, which I’m super sorry about. That was…that was an accident.

MASTER J: Ya, I’m speaking about people that I shared it with. My brothers don’t know, my family doesn’t know. No one knows.

QM: Which is kind of sad, because I think sexual identity, regardless of what it is – so long as it’s two consenting adults, of course, and obviously have all the fundamentals for a healthy sexual relationship or encounter – most of what you are comes back to that. I think sexuality influences a lot of what we are and do. Obviously, that’s my opinion, but I truly, truly, truly believe in that.

MASTER J: Oh ya, someone who isn’t happy sexually isn’t going to be the same as someone who is fully enjoying their sex life. No matter what the sexuality is – lesbian, gay, bisexual, straight… I don’t know why, but it makes me think of the movie Les Garçon et Guillame à Table. Guillame says to his mom, “How can I be homosexual mom? Because I’m a girl? You always made me feel like I’m a girl, even if I’m a man on the outside, I’m a girl on the inside, so I’m heterosexual, because I’m a girl who likes men.” And then he reacts like, “So, I’m actually a man, but you’ve made me feel like a girl my whole life, but if I’m a man then I could actually like women?”

QM: I love that movie too, because it shows you how fucked up labels can be; how confusing they make things.

MASTER J: Not only that, truly, I think what the movie shows is the importance of the relationship with the parents. I also think it’s like 75% of a true story.

QM: True. For those who don’t know this movie, it’s about Guillame and his mother who regards him as if he’s really her daughter, and you have a father who just rejects the notion completely. You see Guillame’s  struggle for acceptance and the comparison between him and his stereotypical masculine brothers. It’s just a huge play on gender and what it means, and how insignificant labels can be, and truly, how deeply they can isolate a person.

MASTER J: But anyway, that’s why in general I think women are much more interesting than men. For example, your fantasy as a cuckquean is so interesting, because I find you have so much more to experience, to discover, with this fantasy than the opposite – which is you or me being fucked by a man. I feel like when you bring another man in the room, you can only do a certain number of things before it’s done. If you bring another woman in the room, every single woman is different; every single woman reacts so differently, that every time it will be a new experience. With men, I think you can have two or three experiences, and then Bam!, done. That’s why, even just speaking about it, gets me so excited.

QM: It’s interesting, I was listening to the Sex with Emily Podcast the other day, and she was speaking to an athlete – I believe he’s a fighter of some sort, I’d have to go back and check to be sure – but he’s in an open relationship with his girlfriend. He is always having threesomes.

MASTER J: With his girlfriend?

QM: Umm, maybe both, I’m not sure it was very clear. He will also do stuff with men. But the one thing he said about having a threesome with women is when you have a man in the threesome, they’re the bomb, and once the bomb goes off, it’s done. It’s because women can have multiple orgasms, where men can’t. He said basically that if a man wants to have a threesome with two women he needs to be prepared, and his stamina needs to be up to par, because if it isn’t, once you’re done it’s done. Unless the women want to keep going with each other, but that’s just not the point of the threesome.

MASTER J: Which again is a pressure on the man’s performance.

QM: Yes, which I get can come across as a negative thing, but it makes sense.

MASTER J: I had a friend who had a friend who had a threesome. He literally met these two girls on the beach, and went back to their room.

QM: Just like that?

MASTER J: Apparently!

QM: Those girls wanted it bad! [Laughter] Amazing.

MASTER J: Ya, and apparently he said to my friend, “I’ve never come that quick.” He said that you do 10-15 quick moves and even if you aren’t in one of the women, you just orgasm because it’s just super hot.

QM: Well, it was his first time too. It’s like he’s reverted back to losing his virginity. [Laughter].

MASTER J: Ya, and I think you can’t judge yourself as a man during your first threesome, because it’s so hot, and it takes training.

QM: Ya, and again, you need to communicate before and after. As a man, if it’s your first rodeo, the women should know, and the women should tell the men or women that it’s their first time too.

MASTER J: No matter what he had to let it go. It happened.

QM: It was also a one-night-stand. Like, if you were to speak to those girls, would they say it was an amazing experience? I don’t know. But I think with a one-night-stand you can’t have high expectations.

MASTER J: Yes and no, because when you truly speak before–

QM: Ya, but that’s what I mean, I’m talking about a one night-stand without communication.

MASTER J: Oh ya. That makes sense. But I’ve had one night stands where I’ve spoken a lot before.

QM: Ya, and not only are you finding out what each of you like, but the speaking is a turn on.

MASTER J: Exactly. After my two year relationship, I decided to never go into sex without having a conversation first. It also has to do with being a dominant though. I always find it hard when women love pain, but don’t want any part of the humiliation, or the opposite way. I need to know this before hand, rather than finding out during.

QM: Do you think that in a way pain is kind of humiliation?

MASTER J: No. If I speak about the woman from Punta Cana, she was riding me while I was hurting her breasts; she’s riding me, there’s no humiliation in that, she just loves pain to her tits. It was a true pain.

QM: Right, pain is the pleasure, and pleasure isn’t humiliation.

MASTER J: Ya, when it’s really not connected, I find it hard. The best for me is a mix. If you do a graph, where you can rate pain and humiliation from 1 to 10, I’ve never had a woman who is 10 across the board. I’ve had like 7 on humiliation and 2 on pain, or vice-versa.

QM: So, out of all the experiences you’ve had, regarding that k

ind of rating, where would you put me at my most turned on state.

MASTER J: I think you could go all the way to 10 regarding humiliation.

QM: What is a 10 regarding humiliation?

MASTER J: Doing or saying anything I tell you to; going from one spot to another in a specific stance or wearing a specific thing. But sometimes you’re very much in your head.

QM: I think the hardest for me is the talking. Which I hate about myself, because when you speak it’s so hot, but when I’m asked to speak, I’m just all up in my head. [Laughter].

MASTER J: It’s okay. And I think you could reach an 8 out of 10 regarding pain, if you’re in the mood.

QM: I guess it depends on the body parts, too.

MASTER J: I say that, but I think you are more sensitive physically then other women I’ve been with.

QM: And how do you feel about that?

MASTER J: I don’t care, I love it. I like the mix! I don’t need a 10/10, it’s not what I’m looking for.

QM: So, you don’t have a presence between pain and humiliation? Say I was a 10 across the board, is there something specific that would turn you on most?

MASTER J: I think what I like the most is the switch of the body. For example, if we’re speaking about pain, I like moving from your ass, to your tits, to your face, to your hair–

QM: The variety.

MASTER J: Ya, the variety. Which you have most of the time when you’re turned on, even if I feel like your tits are more sensitive.

QM: I think for me, regarding my tits, I get nervous.

MASTER J: Why?

QM: It’s about inflicting trauma which could cause problems later. My ass is fat and muscle, you know? But my breasts are, first of all, very large, and they are full of  other things that could be damaged.

MASTER J: Yes, but tits and breasts are different things.

QM: Right, okay, I’m talking about the full breast.

MASTER J: The breast, even smaller breasts, I’ve always focussed more on the tits. You pull the tits for example. The full breast is different.

QM: I’m thinking more about the spanking and grabbing of the breasts.

MASTER J: Right, because you have large breasts.

QM: Ya, I do, and there’s a lot of stuff going on in there.

MASTER J: 100% sure, that makes sense. If I really speak about “tits torture,” in my experience, the smaller the breast, the harder I could go.

QM: Which is funny, because the book I’ve been reading, statistically they said it’s the opposite.

MASTER J: It’s so hard, I really like new things.

QM: You must have loved knowing you were my first.

MASTER J: I’ve been the first dominant for most of the women I’ve been with. Obviously I wouldn’t be the last for them, and I will be for you, which is great. But ya, I like the idea of it. I prefer that over meeting an experienced submissive.

QM: Why? Does it make you feel that much more dominant?

MASTER J: No, it’s just because that means the girl doesn’t know herself much in that way, and I’m going to be the one to help her discover it.

QM: So, it’s an ego thing?

MASTER J: No, it’s excitement! It’s a performance thing, too. If I’m the only one she’s had then maybe I wouldn’t put as much pressure on myself? Which I guess is ego. [Laughter]

QM: Well, that was fun! But I think we should eat.

MASTER J: You’re hungry?

QM: Yes!

MASTER J: Okay, let’s eat.

END

If you enjoyed this four-part interview with Master J and want to know more about him, his practices or anyhting else that was discussed in the Date with a Dom series, contact us.

Special thanks to my Master for being the first kinkster featured in my RAF Series.

Fuck-well, my friends!